By: Faisal Ansar
Parents’ mutual behaviour impact children’s personality unintentionally which parents sometimes do not realize owing to which distortion creates in the minds of kids. Every parent wants their kids to become good, honest, responsible and well-mannered but as it is rightly said that action speaks louder than words. Children do what they see their parents doing. It is a common complaint by parents that their kids fight with each other and remain worried for its solution but do not see their behaviour with each other which ultimately make kids’ minds to replicate the same as parents fight before their kids. If parents want their kids not to fight with each other they have to be role model and have to avoid a quarrel with each other. It is seen that kids of smaller ages start shouting. The question is who has taught them to shout at an early age? the simple answer is that they see their parents shouting on each other which they replicate. Those parents who fight with each other, their kids remain coward and unconfident and later on, becomes shy to face people and avoid social gatherings thus personality of kids distort.
If parents want their kids to be polite and talk in a gentle way then parents have to show them being polite with each other and talk in a gentle way. It means that parents have to work hard on themselves rather than being worried about their kids and stay polite. Resolving issues with mutual consent and patience would guide kids to replicate the same in their life cycle. Infuse kids by actions not just by verbal instructions as there is distort in their minds when they see any difference between parents’ instructions and actions.
For instance, parents always teach kids not to tell a lie as it is a bad habit but it is seen on some occasions that if somebody knocks the door and father of the kid do not want to go out and meet the person who knocks the door, father instructs kids to go and say that baba is not at home. In this case what children would learn ? as there is always distorting in their minds what to follow whether parents’ verbal instructions or their actions and children more prone to learn from actions rather than mere instructions. Similarly, if kids see their father smoking, it is often observed that their kids also smoke. No matter how many disadvantages father might tell to his son but he would do what he sees doing his father.
Some of the kids are also seen using abusive language which tells the story about their parents’ behaviour with each other. Children are the ambassadors of the houses and interacting with them would let you know that in what environment they are being raised and what kind of behaviour their parents keep with each other.
In short, parents have to watch out for the difference between their verbal instructions and actions as what parents do would be replicated by kids sooner or later. Parents are role model for their kids so parents should reflect such attributes which they want their kids to possess the same. Parents should be well-mannered, honest, responsible, polite and able to resolve issues with mutual consent as ups and downs are part of life and issues would come but resolving them in a gentle way with dignity would give a good lesson to their kids and they would also be able to lead their lives accordingly.