By: Zunaira Wajid
A man knocks at the door. A girl opens it and tells him that no one is at home. You may visit later. That man passes her creepy smile and closes the door…. After a while, that girl is sobbing. Her parents come back. She tells them. They say … stay silent. That man is coming over their home and keeps on living his life. Everyone enforces her to call that man with an honorable title like uncle, brother, and sometimes sadly father. A lot of girls are living the same type of life. A lot of people discuss rape cases but what is the core of the problem? Why does man believes it so easy to rape any girl? What is convincing them?
The reason is us. The culture. Yes, this society, this our so-called culture in which we are living in. the concept of Masculinity (Mardangi). Man can do anything. He can go outside late at night. He can waste money and doesn’t need to explain. He can talk in a wild voice. He can beat his sister/ wife/ daughter. He can whistle blow when he sees a woman. He can pass comments on to her. In short, He can do whatever he wants. Why! Because he is a man. But we are not allowing him to scream because he is a man. He cannot express his emotions because he is a man. He cannot say that he is tired now because he is a man. He cannot say that he can’t do it because he is a man.
On one hand, we are permitting a man to do whatever he wants to do. And what is the price they are paying? Destroying their emotions… murdering a person means taking his life at once. But murdering emotions means asking a person to die every day and sometimes every moment. We feed their ego by calling them “Mard ha na kuch bhi kar sakta ha” (he is a man, he can do anything). And when he confronts rejection, he takes it personally. Moreover, Man also thinks of women as a sex drive because it’s what our media is illustrating him. Our society gives him an account. He thought of it as his fundamental right. And now one more motivation is this that some people don’t report because of their so-called worth (izat). And others who report never get justice.
We have to change our angle and the perspective of our men. Man is a very pure soul. He can sacrifice his life for his family. Just stop instructing him to hide his emotions, stop instructing him he can do whatever he wants. Stop advising your girls to stay silent. It’s one of the ways to avoid rape cases.
The writer is an article and short story writer. She can be reached at [email protected]