By: Mariam Khan
It can be very challenging to stand up for yourself, especially when you are not used to speaking your mind around people. But on any given day, you may find yourself stuck in situations where you have to choose whether to whittle yourself away or stand up for yourself.
Naturally, people sometimes take the peace route because speaking up often tends to upset others. And to escape the discomfort and social pressure that people often face as a result of speaking their minds, they instead choose to ignore and walk away. Old insecurities, your people-pleasing nature, social standpoint, and countless other things can hold you back from sharing your ideas or speaking your mind.
Is it possible to put your point across and stand up for yourself without sounding like a bully? It certainly is, and here is how you can do it.
Of course, sometimes it is okay to brush things under the carpet and move on. But in most situations, especially when you feel that your boundaries are being violated or you are being manipulated, it is your given right to be more assertive. The challenge is, learning to speak up boldly with confidence requires a lot of change in your nature, and that surely won’t happen overnight. But even a single step can get you started!
So, here are some things you can do to gain enough confidence to rise and speak boldly for yourself.
First and foremost, you need to analyze how you see yourself. Do you consider yourself as the protagonist or the antagonist of your own story? Understand that in order to speak boldly for yourself, you need to step out of your old, habitual world. Learn from your hardships and past challenges and move beyond them, emerging as the better version of yourself. And remember; don’t be afraid to get detached from the kind of authenticity that may keep you from speaking your mind.
Dominance never falls under the category of bullying. So, disregard what others may think and continue making your point in a domineering manner if that’s how you prefer to communicate.
Nobody is born submissive or passive. Clearly, it’s a learned behavior. When people are uncomfortable to powerfully communicate their thoughts, either damaging past experiences or cultural aspects are holding them back. They have this mentality that speaking whatever they want to say can get them in trouble with people.
If you also feel that way, make a list of all your amazing talents, and tell them to the world. It is possible that some people will try to discourage you, but don’t let other people’s perspectives define your life. Do not ever think that showcasing your talents will make you immodest. If you have light, you gotta shine it!
If you really want to grow as a person, you need to seek clarity about what you want from life. You probably fantasize about becoming a stronger version of yourself, but if you are not doing anything to become that person, only dreaming won’t do you any good.
It is time that you buckle up yourself and figure out what you want from life, yourself, and from people around you. And you have every right to fight for something that makes your life better. So, identify your goals today, and learn how to fuel your energy to achieve them.
Connecting and sharing a vibe with people who support and empower you is a life-changing experience. To become confident, authoritative, and powerful, you need to learn to connect with inspiring people who are there to guide and support you. Having an empowering network is important; because it helps bring a real difference in your personal and professional life.
Sometimes, things become so vague that figuring out stuff on your own becomes difficult. You need people who can help you become motivated, and react in the right manner.
When you are facing abuse or mistreatment, learn to take a fierce stand against it, instead of building hate inside yourself. Hate is something that spreads, and it is never going to be healthy for you to hate someone. It turns you into a person that you surely don’t want to become. Instead, develop the ability to advocate for both yourself and other people while also sharing compassion, forgiveness, and love.
In different circumstances throughout your life, you may experience feelings of betrayal, exploitation, or disdain. However, in certain circumstances, you should have a responsible talk with the person upsetting you.
Ask yourself: are you living under the shadow of some insecurity, cultural pressure, or painful past experience? If you find it difficult to voice your opinions and stand up for yourself, take an hour or two to sit quietly and analyze what is bothering you. Is there something painful in your past or present that keeps you occupied? What is something impossible for you to face and fix? It is important to analyze because facing your traumas and insecurities will help you become more upfront and bold in your dealings.
Seek out a mentor, therapist, or a friend whom you trust and heal through everything that affects your confidence.
Don’t let your fear hold you back when you want to do something daring, like standing up to your boss’s mistreatment, talking to your unpleasant roommate, or anything else. Because you are a human, you will inevitably experience fear when attempting to leave your comfort zone. Getting acclimated to this emotion is the best approach to handle it. Recognize that it is not only you who has fear; everyone experiences it on a daily basis, even the most powerful and upbeat individuals. So, ignore what your fears are telling you and don’t hold yourself back from making a positive decision.
Each person has their own set of instincts. Nobody has the right to challenge another person’s views, thoughts (barring bad ones), opinions, or feelings. You must understand that no one has the right to invalidate your personal beliefs. You are entirely responsible for the thoughts and deeds you commit. You should also correct yourself if you frequently denigrate other people. It destroys the potential for productive dialogues as well as the potential for problem-solving.
It’s difficult to change your behavior habits, and it won’t happen quickly. Give yourself time if you want to stand up and be more bold. Imagine that you are an actor as you learn to advocate for yourself. Assume you are portraying the sensible, audacious, and self-assured persona. And when a difficult scenario presents itself, consider how that confident, assertive person would handle it.
There can be times when you will feel lost, and unsure about how to behave. But eventually, you will find balance and clarity in your life.
You could occasionally feel disoriented and unsure of how to act. However, you will eventually achieve balance and focus in your life.
The writer is the CEO of MK Group and can be reached at [email protected]