By: Mahnoor Naheed Awan
In the words of Brian Tracy, it is aptly remarked:
“80 percent of the constraints, the factors that are holding you back from achieving your goals, are internal”
Self- helpis the most significant personal skill which leads to the generation of the most integral force that drives one to achieve certain standards. The famous phrase “God helps those who help themselves” is an expression that emphasizes on the worth of self-initiative and self-help which constantly motivates and inspires a person in all spheres of personal and professional life.
Self-help leads to an optimistic mindset which keeps one going even in the most drastic phases and guides one to be resilient. With a small self-initiative of helping oneself, one plays a key role in eradication of slight transgressions such as laziness, procrastination and akrasia and this leads to the development of virtues such as empowerment, consciousness and time management to avoid distractions.
Awareness of where you wish to be in future provides one motivation to make each and every day of his or her life useful and productive. Though some people still assume self-help to be anecdotal and philosophical as it lacks physical existence but, still others think that it is very essential to help one`s own self by persistently providing himself or herself with new hopes and aspirations. An important fact to be noted is that we all crave self-help and motivation, yet it is not readily available, one needs to know self-worth in order to strives everyday confrontations.
In addition to the internal or intrinsic factors which lead to the development of self-help and motivation in oneself, there are several external or extrinsic factors which leads to this optimistic mind set. These external factors include money or any reward for example good grades. These things present in our environment also motivate a person towards the ultimate goal which a person has decided to accomplish.
Self-help is a very fundamental psychological phenomenon in which a person starts to love himself or herself. The person strives hard to be motivated and in this practice the person starts to know himself better. One becomes very understanding and accepting when they look into themselves and acknowledge their real standards in their own perspective. One then starts to love himself without having thoughts to impress people. When one is well aware of his importance he stops such acts, and this is only possible via self-motivation because it is the only key to self-help.
After having a session with oneself of self- motivation one becomes very well aware of their skills and flaws. As it is suitably said by Nikki Giovanni that “Mistakes are fact of life. It is the response to error that counts”. One starts learning from their mistakes and this leads to the positive growth of a person in which one feels very comfortable with oneself and starts believing the fact that “One of the basic rules of this universe is that nothing is perfect”
In this productive practice of self-analysis where one learns about their mistakes, on the other hand one becomes well aware of their skills too. One starts to work on their skills to polish them and starts the process of evolution not to regret on mistakes but to learn from them and extract fundamental life lessons from them. The main purpose behind this practice should be a constant aim of gaining vital knowledge and information and a goal to be a better version of oneself.
As far as self-help is meant it is a personal skill that is integral to the concept of emotional intelligence. It is a phenomenon of personal empowerment where one picks up themselves and need no other shoulder to cry on. One becomes very strong and learns to deal with things personally. This is the point in one`s life where they acknowledge the fact that no one is always available for us and this leads to the development of strong nerves where one is ready to face the challenges of life with a smile on their face.
Through self-help one learns to manage time effectively, and this leads to avoiding distractions. One becomes aware of their ambition so they manage time accordingly and value each and every minute of life. As it is rightly said that Time is more important that money. One should symbolize time equivalent to that of money.
Some people criticize self-motivation. They think that as it is not having any physical existence it may not exist, but the reality is contrary. I admit that self-help lacks physical existence and is anecdotal but it is having very deep impact on the psychology of a person who is striving hard to maintain a balance for certain things. The secret of a successful and meaningful life lies in finding the right balance to everything you do, one should not be extremist in any regard. The maintenance of healthy balance in life is achieved by continuously motivating self to do things that are of our benefit.
The awareness of where you wish to be in future is very vital. This is the fuel that keeps us going even in the most drastic phases of our life. When a person is well aware of a goal and the image of his future post is quite clear then self-help and motivation works as fuel for the accomplishment of our goal. While, on the other hand if a person is not well aware his ultimate goal then self-help does not works for such a person.
An important fact to be noted here is that we all crave for motivation yet it is not easy to find it. It is a complete process of self-analysis in which where one comes across his capabilities on the other hand gets knowledge of his weaknesses which can be eradicated by hard work. Small steps lead to the destination where one finds complete peace of mind and one starts to acknowledge himself and this is the actual success in this world and the world here after. As, when one achieves contention of heart and soul by constant self-motivation and self-invigoration One becomes very light and is ready to face the Creator with complete faith.
I totally understand the fact that sometimes life brings us down in such circumstances just remember that “Rome was nor created in a day”, try to be motivated and help yourself constantly. Do not hurry because “Haste makes waste” take baby steps, if required but do not stop.